Dreams in tow, I walked into the AWP Bookfair and promptly walked back out, breath hitched and pouring sweat. It’s not like me to feel intimidated by something, but as the grains of sweat widened into streams and then rivers flowed down my back and soaked my shirt, I realized I was putting an outrageous amount of pressure on myself to be impressive at this conference.
AWP, or the Association of Writers and Writing Programs, is the largest annual literary gathering in North America, and this year’s conference in Baltimore boasted over 10,000 participants. I saw people from every walk of life imaginable: older writers, queer writers, famous authors, burgeoning poets…even old friends from my time living abroad. In many ways, it was inspiring to share a space with so many creatives working towards similar goals. But the inverse of that can’t be denied either-at the end of the day, I was amongst ten thousand people who all want the same thing I do. They are my peers, my community, my mentors, but also my competition. I found myself oscillating between these feelings often as the conference carried on.
I was able to attend some phenomenal workshops that left me feeling educated, eager, and exhausted. Instead of diving into all the workshops I was able to attend, I wanted to highlight one of my favorites: “Game Changer: Literary Queer Sports Writing”.
Between the runaway success of the Heated Rivalry series and my own undying love of women’s basketball, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t considered writing a queer basketball tale. Unbelievably, this session had been planned before that “gay hockey show” came out. The three panelists, Kasey Peters, John Fram, and Holly M. Wendt, all shared readings from their queer sports novels that highlighted romance in football and hockey.
What I found most surprising about the panelists is that even though there was a mix of men, women, and nonbinary folks, all the stories featured were MLM (men loving men). I wondered if this was because it’s what these authors felt drawn to create or if that was what the market demanded. Gay romance is still so absent from male sports teams that maybe the audience feels it’s more forbidden, and therefore, juicier. Maybe, like in the case of Heated Rivalry, the audience morphs away from queer folks and is popularized by straight women ready to gobble up a romance where they find both guys hot.
I wanted to know if there was a space in the market for many of the plotlines that already exist in women’s sports. I mean some women’s sports write the narratives for you! For example, I went to a Connecticut Sun game where Alyssa Thomas passed the ball to her fiance, Dewanna Bonner, who scored a layup to increase her total career points to a rank that eclipsed Candice Dupree…her ex-wife. TELL ME THAT’S NOT PRIMETIME ENTERTAINMENT!
It was also interesting to hear about the decisions that need to be made when writing queer fiction. Will these characters find joy? Will they have support systems? How does the chosen sport affect the romantic dynamic? How much struggle will center homophobia vs not?
I came away from the workshop ready to write the next great Unrivaled (a 3×3 women’s league I am obsessed with) romance, even though I have at least two more novels to finish in the meantime.
When I reflect on my AWP experience, I am so grateful to have heard so many amazing authors speak, networked with impressive literary journals and publishers, and been able to soak in the knowledge of my peers in the literary community.
I went back into the Bookfair on the last day, and while I was still sweating, I was also able to hand out my business card and feel like I belonged.
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